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A lucky shirt. Every shirt is
lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier
he'll be.
-
An unstamped passport.
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A name for his penis. Even if
it's a really clever name.
-
Any beer that costs less than $20 a
case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that
price threshold.
-
The need to quote The Big Lebowski/
Caddyshack/Superbad. Or any movie from your high school days.
Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you haven't the wit to
write your own.
-
A secret handshake.
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Drinking glasses with logos.
Especially those kitschy McDonald's Hamburglar ones.
-
You can no longer begin a sentence
with, “Last weekend, I was so wasted…”
-
Quit pretending you are a member
of Whitesnake
-
Wearing multiple Swatch watches.
-
Stop using the phrases “tap that or
“hit that.”
-
If you have more “bling” than
your woman, you are not a man
-
Lose the mullet or ponytail,
especially if you’re bald!
-
If you own a kegerator, lose that
too.
-
If you’re not a catcher for a major
league baseball team leave the backwards hat to the frat boys
-
Pull your damn pants up to your
waist.
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“Smell my finger” should be out
of your lexicon